Good Times … Bad Times… Freaking Excellent Times… Heartbreaking Tearful Times
What do all these “times” have in common?
Simply - talking makes them better!
Some examples if I may..
How brilliant is it to come home from a huge day and verbally dump every emotion that has built up from dealing with crappy customers, rude bosses, frustrating call centres and that person who had the gall to do that thing again.
As you sit in a café with your best girl crew discussing everything from the aggressive budget delivered to the uselessness of pubic hair - you get that contented feeling of being understood and validated.
Running from the car up the driveway, to rip open the door and scream with ecstatic joy that you did it! The words of congratulations and cheering heard throughout the house as you to do the “crazy jump up and down, oh my god I’m so happy” dance.
The bond you feel as you wipe tears from a friends face and tell her that she will be ok, you will be there and this will pass.
You’re laying quietly in the dark wrapped in each other arms when he whispers for the first time he has fallen in love with you. (Note: Not from Mills & Boon. True story! My heart stopped then exploded with happiness when my husband dropped that verbal love bomb over twelve years ago.)
Are you starting to get the drift of this post? Talking is a crucial outlet for our wants, thoughts and emotions.
Talking is the turning point of the bad times.
I think of times when I have sat alone with an army of painful thoughts yelling at me. Your mind knows they’re talking rubbish but your heart breaks as you believe every negative word. Talking about these thoughts with trusted others was the only thing that brought calm and truthful clarity to my mind.
“Chat” literally saved my life. Learning to talk through my thoughts was a huge game changer in becoming a healthy, happier person.
When taking the leap to talk about our more challenging thoughts, careful consideration needs to be given in selecting your listener. There are times when those closest to you may not give you the clear independent response you actually need. A trusted professional may be the best option.
The first time I sat with my psychologist, I was a scared mess. She sat there with thoughtful eyes and soft encouraging questions as I shared all the built up emotional mess in my head. Wholly crap it was so cathartic to finally unload. Dr M. was incredible! It was funny the more I talked to Dr M. the more I began to talk to everyone else. From being an emotional mute, I become a verbal machine. As I talked out loud, my negative internal monologue became quieter. There were times when I spoke my thoughts out loud, it was cringe-worthy how I ever believed them too be true.
Negative words that rattle around in your head unchecked, can often be harmful to your confidence and self-worth.
Though I have not seen Dr M. now for a few years, I definitely recognise when I need to talk. I am lucky enough to have a husband who has a seventh sense when my thoughts are not on the up and up. Chat time!!!
My posse of friends are a kick-arse blend of Sex in the City, Bridesmaids and Mystic Pizza personalities. And yes ladies you know which character you are. And god we have the “best chat”!
When Nanna’s tea pot comes out with my beautiful “tell it how it is” mother and my awesome esq sister… chat time!
It’s only when I lay my head on my son’s pillow and he says “Sssshhh mum, it’s my turn to tell the story” that I’m happy to be silent.
No matter how you feel, be it good or bad, talk about it.
Now as I sit here telling you about the benefits of good chat… I feel great for chatting!
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